So I’m 27. I’ve got a great boyfriend. I’ve got a cat. I’ve got a great job. But..I’ve got Endometriosis. I’ve got anxiety. I’ve got depression.
And I’m going through the menopause.
Yes, you read that right. I’m going through the menopause. Induced, not natural. Its temporary, but man is it tough. I never expected this to happen but after 2 years of no relief since my laparoscopy, and 15 years of pain previous to that, this is now my only pain relief option. I had my first injection on 21st March, and I have 11 more glorious injections to come, along with taking HRT everyday for the next year. For anyone who is planning on going through induced menopause, whether its Decapeptyl like me, Prostap or another variation, I’ve added a link to the bottom of the page with some more information.
The long and short of it is, I am in a limbo of my ovaries being temporarily shut down, with symptoms presenting between a mix of menopause and pregnancy. I’m not infertile for these months, but if I was to get pregnant, there could be significant damage done to both the baby and myself. So yeah, that’s pretty shit.
But I’m hoping for the positive side effects to hurry up and hit me hard. It’d be amazing if I was pain-free for a year, and even more amazing if I didn’t have to deal with my period at all. I’m already suffering with the negative side effects, hot flushes, memory loss/brain fog, nausea, upset stomach, mood swings and being snappy. I also had a huge decrease in my mental health. Whether it’s a combination of the hormones crashing together and messing with my brain waves, or the fact that I haven’t really had chance to deal with whats going on in my life despite being diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I haven’t been having a good time. In fact I’m not ashamed to admit, I had to take time off work for my mental health.
Now surprisingly, work wasn’t the issue. It was everything else in my life that seemed to be causing me anxiety and depression. My paranoia levels were super high and I had a pain in my chest like my heart was trying to bury its way out my ribcage. I had horrendous thoughts about everything I’d ever said or done running through my mind, and my brain was trying to trick me into believing a made up world I’d concocted out of paranoia and stress. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t concentrate on anything anyone said to me. After a weekend of panic attacks and hysterical crying, I took the Monday off work. I spoke to the doctor and they agreed that it was going to take time and if I needed to be signed off from stress, that wouldn’t be a problem. My boss on the Tuesday was extremely understanding and allowed me to play the week by ear. I returned to work on the Thursday afternoon and so far (touch wood) everything has been alright. I’ve got plans to look at my meds in a months time and I’m planning on seeing a counsellor soon. It’ll be ok.
So there’s not much I can say, apart from telling you about my own experiences. I’m in no way an expert on mental health, anxiety, depression, endometriosis or going through the menopause. But I want to make a point of raising awareness of all these things, with not just myself in mind, but others like me.
Its been a really lonely few weeks, and I’m constantly flitting between being myself, losing my shit and wanting to lock myself in a cupboard forever, but I’m getting there. A mini break down is possibly the lowest I’ve ever felt and I’ve bounced back – so I know its possible. Sometimes I feel like everything is out to get me, but I just need to keep my head up and work through whatever the menopause throws at me. But something I have learnt – don’t be a hero, everyone is allowed an off day and if I’m feeling too rough, the world will keep turning without me there for a day or two.
Info on the monthly injections – Here